Modesty

Be forewarned that this could get awkward. I think you should read on nonetheless, but be forewarned.

Part of this goes along with the other post I posted on sex. Modesty is a debated issue in Christian circles, and it's a serious topic. Perhaps not seriously considered enough - at least by most churches. The church I go to, thank God, has a very Biblical way of viewing the topic and I agree with them wholeheartedly.

To begin with, what is modesty? The ever-useful dictionary.com defines it as "Freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.; regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.; simplicity/moderation."
A fairly accurate definition, to be sure. Modesty does indeed have to do with how you behave - are you overly boastful? Rash? Hasty? In speech, are you clean? Encouraging? Thoughtful? In your dress, are you subdued? Or are you trying to show off?

I'll be focusing more on the 'dress' part of things here, but be aware that modesty, while certainly a show of behavior and character, is also a way of thinking. It's a heart issue. In the same way that if you honor a person with words but not thoughts, actions but not intentions, you in reality disrespect them; if you are only modest 'skin deep' as they say, you aren't really modest at all.

So how does modesty apply in particular to clothing?
Well, here's the thing. I'm a guy. I look around. I see things. And if you have taken a glance at just what our culture's like today, I'm sure you know just how bad things are...if, of course, you have a standard.

I'm going to get a little blunt now, so be warned.

First of all, guys are designed to be visual. That means, ladies, that we SEE THINGS. We are attracted and aroused sexually by what we see, which is why pornography is so prevalent. And it's not just skin, it's the entire form and shape you were given that attracts us.
I've been told time and time again that girls just aren't that aware of how visual guys can be. If you are a lady and are reading this post, thankyouthankyouthankyou. It's vital you gain an understanding of how us guys work sexually.

That being said, it should be obvious that the way you dress is vital in your interaction with us guys. If what you're wearing is provocative, guys will be judging you based on that. This sort of attention can get you into bad places and bad relationships.

So, girls. You know those jean shorts, that aren't really shorts? That come down, like, two inches?
Hate to break it to ya, but those are actually underwear. If you wouldn't like every guy you see looking at your panties, then don't wear those, please. Keep lower-body clothing at least close to the knee, either above or below it. Don't wear underwear.
As for shirts, I have one word for you...cleavage. If you can see any of it in the mirror, try something else. We good guys appreciate your sacrifice.
Another thing to consider would be tight clothes. Girls, God made you to be physically attractive. That's for sure. When you wear something that is form-fitting, it draws eyes. *buzzer* This means that leggings are off-limits by themselves for public use.

Notice, of course, I said public use. If you're at home, in the company of family or by yourself, then it's okay to be wearing something a little questionable as long as it's not flat-out underwear. Please, preserve your dignity. Nobody barring your husband or future husband needs to see that.

Again, girls, guys are very visual. They'll be looking at your body, and if you happen to be flashing too much of it - even by accident - they might lust after you, which Jesus tells us is a sin (Matt. 5:28, Ex. 20:14). Also to consider is the fact that sexual predators exist. You can protect yourself by simply wearing less revealing clothes; it's as easy as that.
Did I miss anything? Oh yeah, swimsuits. Two piece swimsuits are a no-no. Those aren't even swimsuits. They're underwear that is specially designed to wear in the shower. That's all they're good for. And even one-piece swimsuits are questionable sometimes. My advice? Get a swimshirt and good ol' trunks. Tuck the swimshirt in: you can even wear a one-piece swimsuit under it, to be double safe. We appreciate it.

In conclusion for the girls; if you can follow the above guidelines, I can pretty much guarantee you that you'll be safe from those jerks who just focus on how you look. We good guys salute you.

Now, guys. Girls may not be as visually sensitive, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to do whatever. Remember that modesty, while clothing is a large part of it, also applies to your attitude. Wearing jewelry is not necessarily bad, but way too much of it - especially if it's earrings - is *buzzer*. Also, don't go around shirtless if you're ripped. I know you may be thinking "Whaaat?" But think about it - you're just showing off. And girls can be turned on visually, though they don't have a majority wiring for it.
To add to this list would be 'swag'. Swag is, in essence, a plea for attention. "Hey! Look at me! I'm different! I'm cool!" This is, once again, an immodest attitude. Don't have swag. It's not cool, and it certainly won't get you in with the right people.
Anything else? Oh, yes, baggy pants. Guys...just...don't. Every single girl I've ever, ever met thinks it's stupid. And any guy with sense thinks it is as well.

I hope this was helpful, and if you have anything I should add, please tell me. Sayonara!