Modesty

Be forewarned that this could get awkward. I think you should read on nonetheless, but be forewarned.

Part of this goes along with the other post I posted on sex. Modesty is a debated issue in Christian circles, and it's a serious topic. Perhaps not seriously considered enough - at least by most churches. The church I go to, thank God, has a very Biblical way of viewing the topic and I agree with them wholeheartedly.

To begin with, what is modesty? The ever-useful dictionary.com defines it as "Freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.; regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.; simplicity/moderation."
A fairly accurate definition, to be sure. Modesty does indeed have to do with how you behave - are you overly boastful? Rash? Hasty? In speech, are you clean? Encouraging? Thoughtful? In your dress, are you subdued? Or are you trying to show off?

I'll be focusing more on the 'dress' part of things here, but be aware that modesty, while certainly a show of behavior and character, is also a way of thinking. It's a heart issue. In the same way that if you honor a person with words but not thoughts, actions but not intentions, you in reality disrespect them; if you are only modest 'skin deep' as they say, you aren't really modest at all.

So how does modesty apply in particular to clothing?
Well, here's the thing. I'm a guy. I look around. I see things. And if you have taken a glance at just what our culture's like today, I'm sure you know just how bad things are...if, of course, you have a standard.

I'm going to get a little blunt now, so be warned.

First of all, guys are designed to be visual. That means, ladies, that we SEE THINGS. We are attracted and aroused sexually by what we see, which is why pornography is so prevalent. And it's not just skin, it's the entire form and shape you were given that attracts us.
I've been told time and time again that girls just aren't that aware of how visual guys can be. If you are a lady and are reading this post, thankyouthankyouthankyou. It's vital you gain an understanding of how us guys work sexually.

That being said, it should be obvious that the way you dress is vital in your interaction with us guys. If what you're wearing is provocative, guys will be judging you based on that. This sort of attention can get you into bad places and bad relationships.

So, girls. You know those jean shorts, that aren't really shorts? That come down, like, two inches?
Hate to break it to ya, but those are actually underwear. If you wouldn't like every guy you see looking at your panties, then don't wear those, please. Keep lower-body clothing at least close to the knee, either above or below it. Don't wear underwear.
As for shirts, I have one word for you...cleavage. If you can see any of it in the mirror, try something else. We good guys appreciate your sacrifice.
Another thing to consider would be tight clothes. Girls, God made you to be physically attractive. That's for sure. When you wear something that is form-fitting, it draws eyes. *buzzer* This means that leggings are off-limits by themselves for public use.

Notice, of course, I said public use. If you're at home, in the company of family or by yourself, then it's okay to be wearing something a little questionable as long as it's not flat-out underwear. Please, preserve your dignity. Nobody barring your husband or future husband needs to see that.

Again, girls, guys are very visual. They'll be looking at your body, and if you happen to be flashing too much of it - even by accident - they might lust after you, which Jesus tells us is a sin (Matt. 5:28, Ex. 20:14). Also to consider is the fact that sexual predators exist. You can protect yourself by simply wearing less revealing clothes; it's as easy as that.
Did I miss anything? Oh yeah, swimsuits. Two piece swimsuits are a no-no. Those aren't even swimsuits. They're underwear that is specially designed to wear in the shower. That's all they're good for. And even one-piece swimsuits are questionable sometimes. My advice? Get a swimshirt and good ol' trunks. Tuck the swimshirt in: you can even wear a one-piece swimsuit under it, to be double safe. We appreciate it.

In conclusion for the girls; if you can follow the above guidelines, I can pretty much guarantee you that you'll be safe from those jerks who just focus on how you look. We good guys salute you.

Now, guys. Girls may not be as visually sensitive, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to do whatever. Remember that modesty, while clothing is a large part of it, also applies to your attitude. Wearing jewelry is not necessarily bad, but way too much of it - especially if it's earrings - is *buzzer*. Also, don't go around shirtless if you're ripped. I know you may be thinking "Whaaat?" But think about it - you're just showing off. And girls can be turned on visually, though they don't have a majority wiring for it.
To add to this list would be 'swag'. Swag is, in essence, a plea for attention. "Hey! Look at me! I'm different! I'm cool!" This is, once again, an immodest attitude. Don't have swag. It's not cool, and it certainly won't get you in with the right people.
Anything else? Oh, yes, baggy pants. Guys...just...don't. Every single girl I've ever, ever met thinks it's stupid. And any guy with sense thinks it is as well.

I hope this was helpful, and if you have anything I should add, please tell me. Sayonara!

What goes in, comes out...

Language.

Have you heard it recently?

Of course you have.


No, no, I don't mean language as in the English language, I mean it as in swearing. Cursing. Cussing. French. Or however you care to term it.

If you live in America, chances are pretty close to 100% that you have a better swear bank than John Newton (Oh yes, he was a pretty...colorful character before his salvation). If you're a Christian, you shouldn't be using it.
Before I go any further, however, let me apologize for the times that I haven't been so discerning. I've used a lot of 'substitute' swear words - which I'll discuss in a minute - and I'll be working for the next couple of weeks on cleaning up my blogs and vocabulary. I'm really sorry if I made you stumble.

So, just what is swearing? Dictionary.com says it's "to use profane oaths or language." All right...so what's language? Again, dictionary.com defines it as "as system of formalized symbols, signs, sounds, gestures, or the like used or conceived as a means of communicating thought, emotion, etc."

If you read that definition correctly, it said that language - words - are used to communicate thought and emotion. The implication? That no matter what you're saying, the words don't matter - the emotion or intent behind them is what you're really communicating. This is where 'substitute' swear words lose their validity. You may think it's not as bad as an f-bomb, but you mean the same thing.

The Bible says (for you Christians out there reading this) in Ephesians 5:3-4 "But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks." (The italicized and bold words are my added emphasis)
Uncleanness or filthiness apply to more than just 'trash talk' but since we're focusing on language here, we'll just use that particular meaning. Foolish talking is basically what we like to term 'putting your foot in your mouth', and 'jesting' in this context means joking inappropriately.

Obviously, the Bible's against cursing. Yet many Christians just can't bite their tongue - I'm no exception, let me tell you. Many people make the argument "Culture determines the meaning of a word - so if I use one that doesn't have a bad connotation, then it's all right".
Sorry people, that doesn't work either. Like we've discussed, words convey intent, and no matter what the cultural definition, if you're using any word at all with a malevolent purpose, it's dirty language.

This is not to say, however, that you're totally free to use swear words if you don't mean bad things by them (which...is almost impossible to do). Our culture has put bad connotations to certain things, and if we use them freely - even if we don't mean bad - it will stain their perception of us. Of course, that doesn't apply to words like "God" and "Hell" because those are legitimate Christian terms that have been twisted by people.

All that to say: don't curse, people. Always be encouraging others. And let's you and I clean up our vocabulary, shall we?

Virginity, and Why You Lost It

Sex.

Seeeeeeex.

Sexxxxxxxxxxx.

Ssssssssssssssssssex.


I have summed up 99.9% of culture today.

Ladies and Gents, there are many things I hate about this culture. Financial issues, relationship issues, immaturity issues, and all those worldviews are part of that 0.1 percent. The rest can be expressed in these words;
"Childhood? My dear and uneducated teen, there is no such thing. We violate you from the moment you are born. If you aren't fully revolving around getting laid, there's something wrong with you, and we shall fix it by throwing books, songs, radio, Disney, and other indoctrinated people at you. We will take the natural form of sexual pleasure and twist it, turn it, and squeeze it into every. Single. Thing you do, think, or see. In the name of Buddhism, Pseudo-Christianity, Evolution, and Postmodernism, Amen."

The world we live in is dark. It is twisted. I can't step into any city or public building without being reminded of just how much sex is thrust in our faces. I walk down the teen section at the library, draw my shoulders up and tuck in my chin, trying to flinch away from the sexual glaze that's literally radiating off every book or movie present.
This world has taken sex and distorted it so much it's hardly recognizable. The sanctity of marriage is lost in the stampede of hormone-rich, sexually awakening teens who absolutely must get it off with someone, whether they're seriously involved or not. Pornography saturates the internet like mines in a field, and you better tip-toe your way around or whoops, there it is...

And then, of course, there's homosexuality. The crowning achievement to our depravity. Guys with guys, girls with girls. I think it could be safe to say that if you are not actively opposed to gay marriage, you are not Christian. You're rejecting Genesis 2:24, which lays down the law for relationships of an intimate sense. Oh by the way, 'man' is a masculine term, which means they're talking about an actual guy. Wife is a feminine term, which specifically means girl. Canst thou disagree? If you do anyway, then you think the Bible - God's Word - is lying.

Even as soaked in sex as our culture is, there are still ways to avoid it where we can and fight it were we can't. Parental controls, my young teenage compatriots, are there to protect your eyes, ears, and heart. Whether they're for the computer or how you act in public. Respect them. And for the areas where depravity is unavoidable, we have the Bible to refute it and prayer to keep our mental walls standing.

Amen.